Falling Awake

Just Darts Since 2009

What are you doing here?

Of all the reports I get from WordPress, my favorite is the one that tells me what brought people here.  What search terms did they enter that led them to this place?

A few weeks ago I saw that I had been visited by someone who searched the term “neuterfest.”  That was a head-scratcher.  So I googled the term myself and lo and behold, Falling Awake was on the first page of Google results.  I clicked on my site and the mystery was solved.

And then it struck me.  There are topics–and even people–who are searched for almost every day, and what I have to say about them is among the first voices heard on the internet.  Of course, since this is the internet, there’s also a lot of nonsense about which I have the first say.  Witness “neuterfest.”

Anyway, more for my amusement than yours, I’ve assembled this list of search terms (all of which have actually been used by people to find this place) that bring up Falling Awake on the first page of Google results, together with links to the original posts.

  1.  neuterfest – “Neuterfest Cancelled.”  (I really didn’t know this was a word.  I thought it was coined by “Arrested Development.”)

  2.  paul zachary myers blog – “Professor Paul Zachary Myers, Bigot.”  (This is satisfying.)

  3.  professor paul zachary myers – ditto (ditto.)

  4.  hero timothy gittins – “The People Who Shape Our World – Heroes and Pioneers.”  (Proud of this one.)

  5.  charles pinning –  “A Veteran Replies to Charles Pinning” & “Revisiting Charles Pinning.” A two-fer!  (Not as proud of this one, as “Revisiting” explains.)

  6.  help the drunk get home – “Help the Drunk Get Home.”  (Duh.)

  7.  command economy idiocy – “The idiocy of a command economy.”  (Think I was preaching to the choir, here?)

  8.  brutally honest personality test – “Brutally Honest Personality Test.” (Duh.)

  9.  steve martin saddam hussein – “Steve Martin on Saddam Hussein.”  (I still find it hard to see those two names juxtaposed.)

 10.  “often does hatred hurt itself” – “The Voice of Saruman.”  (I’m now associated with Tolkien.  Far out!)

 11.  analysis of sicko – “Good Analysis of ‘Sicko’ from an Unlikely Source.”  (This one’s got legs.  Almost every day someone searches for this.)

 12.  how should christians treat homeless – “How Should Christians Treat Beggars?”  (This keeps me humble.  God knows how many people have read this not-so-proud moment.)

 13.  my buddy died today – “My buddy died today.”  (About my cat.)

And finally, the monster.  The one search term that brings many times more visitors than all the others combined.  The post to end all posts.

  14.  swimsuit issue – “Swimsuit Issue Is Out!”

Can you believe that?  Google “swimsuit issue” and my site is on page one!  Although no one ever, ever visits the actual post.  Follow along with me!  They google “swimsuit issue.”  Go ahead, click that highlighted “google.”  See the second picture?  Click on it and you end up here.  Right there is the secret of my success.  Thousands of hits because of that one picture.

And they never read a single word I wrote.  But can you blame them?


Update: I’m now also among the first results when you google “Connecticut homosexual.”  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)


One response to “What are you doing here?

  1. Sandyt2 November 25, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    I am here for the strikingly rich and well targeted commentary on life, literature, religion, and politics. I have never googled anything odd to arrive at this place.
    It’s a pretty impressive list, though. Too bad they haven’t read a word…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s