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Just Darts Since 2009
I had a cavity filled today–my first one ever! (Now I’m not perfect.)
Anyway, I’m walking home from the dentist with a face full of novocaine, and I start thinking.
What if I start a fight? My face is numb from the tip of my nose to the right corner of my mouth. All my upper front teeth are deadened. I could provoke someone into punching me in the mouth, then smile and spit a tooth back at him!
But then I thought: “I’ll bet the novocaine wouldn’t improve my punching ability.” And without a good follow-up, that tooth-spitting gimmick would sort of fall flat.
By the way, I know that in the headline I should have used the subjunctive: “I wish I were a tough guy.”
But tough guys don’t use the subjunctive. Ever.