Falling Awake

Just Darts Since 2009

Rather interviews Hussein again

Freelance journalist Dan Rather has just scooped the competition with an exclusive interview with the corpse of the recently executed dictator.  Here are some excerpts:

Rather: Mr. President, I do appreciate your agreeing to spend an hour, because I want to ask questions in two categories, please.

Hussein:

Rather: Mr. President, I have all night. (LAUGHTER)

Hussein:

Rather: I understand. Mr. President, Americans are very much concerned about anyone’s connections to Osama bin Laden. Do you have, have you had, any connections to Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden?

Hussein:

Rather: Again, I have plenty of time, Mr. President.

Hussein:

Rather: Mr. President, you’re being very patient with your time, and I want you to know I consider this a solemn moment in history, and, if I may, take time to have you speak to the American people about questions that I know are on their minds. I just want you to know that I appreciate your patience here.

Hussein:

Rather: You fought the father, George Bush the first. He and the forces he led prevailed on the battlefield. The son has an even greater, even more modern, even more lethal military force aimed directly at your (UNINTEL). Why would you think that you could prevail this time on the battlefield?

Hussein:

Rather: I understand now.

Hussein:

Rather: I understand. Mr. President, if it’s necessary for you to forgive me, I hope that you’ll forgive me. But I have a couple of – sort of clean-up questions that I’m not clear about. Number one. Will this make any difference at all in your position?

Hussein:

Rather: So basically, no change in your position.

Hussein:

Rather: Mr. President, I know you’ve been very patient with your time.

Hussein:

Rather: Mr. President, I hope you will take this question in the spirit in which it’s asked. First of all, I regret that I do not speak Arabic. Do you speak any — any English at all?

Hussein:

Rather: Would you speak some English for me? Anything you choose?

Hussein:

Rather: I understand. Mr. President, again, you’ve been patient with your time. What is the most important thing you want the p – American people to understand? What’s the most important thing you want the American people to understand, at this important juncture of history?

Hussein:

Rather: Given the sober moment and the danger at hand, what are the chances this is the last time you and I will see each other?

Hussein:

Rather: Yes.

Hussein:

Rather: I have one last question, Mr. President. Not so long ago, you were clearly hailed by Arabs from Palestinians to Jordanians throughout the Arab world as the great Arab Avenger. Are you still relevant on the Arab street? Or has Osama bin Laden made you what other Arabs irrelevant? If you can understand the question. Thank you.

Hussein:

Rather: Is — did the answer finish?

Hussein:

Rather: Mr. President, you’ve been so patient with your time. I appreciate you (UNINTEL). And I’m gonna —

Hussein:

Rather: I would like very much to see you in the future, Mr. President.

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