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Just Darts Since 2009
I’m posting this in the hopes that you will see this, as I don’t want a repeat of the last time I wrote to you. The FBI made me promise not to send you any more letters, and I don’t want to get in dutch with the feds.
I have seen you many times on TV and in your new movie, and I’d been looking forward to finally meeting you face-to-face on my recent trip to LA. I bought a map to the stars’ homes and set off to find you. Imagine my dismay when I arrived at your house only to find that it was surrounded by a high wall.
I only wanted to catch a glimpse of you, Miss Longoria. And maybe come in and cook you dinner. I’d do the dishes afterwards, too. It’s not like your current “boyfriend” would do that for you, right? He doesn’t seem the domestic type.
I don’t think it’s right for you to try to keep out people who only want to come into your home and do things for you that you don’t want to do for yourself. And people at the Vatican agree with me, too.
For instance, Cardinal Renato Martino agrees with me. He’s the head of the Vatican’s Council for Justice and Peace, so he should know. He said:
I must unfortunately say that in a world that greeted the fall of the Berlin Wall with joy, new walls are being built between neighborhood and neighborhood, city and city, nation and nation.
…celebrities and fans. (I added that part, but it’s implied.)
So, Miss Longoria, in the interests of Justice and Peace, I say: let me in!